Answering Challenging Questions As Someone With Chronic Pain (5 Questions You’re Tired of Hearing…)

1. What hurts?

   1. Everything. Chronic pain conditions vary substantially regarding affected areas and for many, like fibromyalgia that causes widespread muscle pain, there is no one, two or even five, spots to pinpoint. It’s hard to remember that pain is subjective; it varies from person to person. The pain spectrum especially shifts in someone with chronic pain. On a scale of 1-10, Monday’s pain might be a 4 while Tuesday’s pain is a high 8 or 9.

2. But you don’t look sick…?

   1. Maybe the most heard and quickest question people ask because 1) most chronic pain conditions do not manifest in the way of physical appearance and 2) you’re most likely only seeing that person on a “good” day. The bottom line is that chronic pain in most cases never goes away and those who suffer from it try their best to lead the life they want.

3. How are you?

   1. See question 1.

   2. Sometimes, the pain is so widespread or even so specific that it’s hard to describe in addition to conditions’ tendency to change day by day. Essentially, someone might not know exactly how they feel, if they feel great one day, they may feel horrible the next day or even in the next hour. The inability to explain just what is being felt simply adds to the frustration of chronic pain.

4. Have you tried _____?

   1. Acupuncture? Massage therapy? The answer is most likely yes, they’ve tried it all. People may ask this out of a desire to help and take the pain away, but the best thing to do is to simply let the person know that you are there for them, not sell them the latest treatment you read on the internet

5. Is there anything I can do?

   1. Some say the best thing when living with chronic pain is distraction. Provide distractions from the pain by talking to them about something else or giving them something else to focus on. Even better, educate yourself on your loved one’s condition.